Reply to Red flag if a guy doesn’t see kids often?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“It might just mean his kids are well adjusted with mom and are very busy doing after school activities and that he doesn’t want to uproot their lives”

OP says that he doesn’t have time to see his kids. You can have a custody schedule that honors the kids needs to stay at the other parent’s home and still see your kids multiple times per week. Take them to and from practice, attending sporting and school events, taking them to dinner, doing homework with them, etc.  This guy doesn’t want to put in the effort. He’s a deadbeat dad. [/quote]

A deadbeat dad literally mean a dad who doesn’t pay child support. You gave no idea whether he is or isn’t paying child support.

Personally, I don’t think it’s beneficial to kids to have their dad pick them up from sports practice when they live with their mom. It’s confusing and anxiety inducing to bounce around from parent to parent, not knowing which one will be there. I think it’s kinder to take a step back and I say this as a child of divorce. I’m glad I only saw my dad in the summers. It made my life easier. He wasn’t a deadbeat at all. He was someone who respected my stability.[/quote]
Your dad was/is absolutely a deadbeat. Seeing your child for only a few weeks a year is not a good parent. Not sure what kind of emotional abuse or manipulation he told you to twist your views like this. [/quote]

He didn’t say anything. We lived in a different state for work reasons. He could have been an assh-le and not have allowed my mom to move for a better job, but he wasn’t. He never missed a child support payment and went above and beyond what was necessary financially. My mom remarried before he did. (My step-father is amazing.) My dad and I have a great relationship. I’m thankful that he didn’t treat me like the baby in the Solomon story.

I’m sorry that you are so messed up that you don’t understand what love really means and the sacrifices it sometimes entails.[/quote]

Your mom could have moved and given your dad custody.  Problem solved.[/quote]

Problem solved? So, you’re okay with dad having full custody, just not mom? Why are you so opinionated and obstinate about other people making the right choices for themselves? Obviously, this arrangement worked out well for these people. Why does this bother you? Because you have deep unresolved issues? [/quote]

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