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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here. Just wanted to circle back since I sort of posted and ghosted. Yes to all of you (or almost all of you). DC must have a plan. Thanks for reminding me DC need to PICK YOUR HARD! (Love that one). Agree with "go back to same school or make a plan for a different school or a different path. A clear plan. Not some made up halfway plan." Yes we have concerns about depression and social anxiety and DC actually sought help on campus so we may be continuing once home - this may include counseling and/or meds. I hadn't thought of a triggering event/trauma but wow yes I need to probe about this with my very closed of child.

Agree we need to listen carefully and not project our own college experiences onto our child. Transferring is not a big deal - in fact I'd love it if DC were attending somewhere closer to home! Thank you to the poster who told their child that they hadn't given their school a fair shot (8:51). Your post gave me a lot to think about. Maybe if they transfer it will be more of the same???  It's so hard to find the balance of how hard to push. I'd love to say give it one more semester and see where you land. Thanks for the recommendation for The Anxious Generation - I'm ordering it tonight. Thanks for reminding me that mental toughness is important and the military post also sits well with me. "sphere oc control" poster - thanks for the reminder! DC is 18 so a legal adult...who actually decided that 18 year olds are mature enough to make any kinds of decisions??

So thank you to all of you for giving me some things to consider and advice to follow. 
ps - I had a great greek experience but know with 1000% certainty it's not for my DC.[/quote]

Being a transfer student is a different kind of hard. And sometimes when you talk to student who have done it , they gloss over that and just say how the school they transferred to was a great "fit" and how much better it is.

In reality, what has happened, is the student now knows what to expect from college, and they essentially got a do over with the bonus of hindsight. The mistake is [b]believing a do over can only happen when you leave the school[/b]. Even in a small school of a few thousand students, no one knows everyone. One can return, move on from freshman year friends, and make all new friends. Also freshman year of college is like a 5th year of high school for most with a lot of the same feelings of cliques and feeling excluded and believing that somehow the whole school knows what incidents happened. The 2nd year rolls around, a students move into different dorms, classes, clubs, and they begin to realize how many students they don't know and how many students don't know them. 
[/quote]

Not OP, but we're going through the same thing and this is pretty much exactly what my freshman said to me, they want a reset. We introduced the idea of a reset being possible at their current school and it has opened up their thinking.

DC will be home soon and I am planning our "pick your hard" conversation. [/quote]

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