Reply to Men raising children that are not theirs without knowing about it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My bil put his name on the birth certificate of a child he knew wasn't his.  He lied for years about it, although the family pretty much knew all along.  The good thing is his now ex can not come after him for child support.

I know that sounds harsh, but that is only a small snippet of the train wreck that relationship was.  He hasn't seen his "son" in 13 years now.[/quote]

In many states if a man "holds himself out" as a child's father (puts his name on the birth cert, says that he is the child's father, acts like the child's father) he is considered the child's father in the eyes of the law, even if he is not biologically related to the child.  So, BIL may still end up paying.[/quote]

well, they were split up by the time the kid was 2, but she still was using credit cards in his name and living in the house he bought.  She also came and stole his car when hers was repossessed.  He was bankrupt by 25 with no visitation rights and a restraining order against him (she claims he hit her in a dispute about money, which no one believes because even her own family knows she's a pathological liar).  He hasn't seen the kid since he was 4 (although we have several times, as have my in-laws).  The psycho has him believing that my BIL was beating him, which is ludicrous - he may be dumb, but he's not an abuser.

Kid is about to head to college (hopefully), so no chance in hell there will be any child support at this point.  He was paying her voluntarily until they were officially divorced (for the second time - seriously twisted tale) - around the same time he filed for bankruptcy and moved home.  We actually had a call from psycho woman explaining that she was going to try to file for child support from the real dad so my BIL was going to have to do a paternity test.  Don't think she ever really followed through with that - this was several years back now.

I do understand this is the case in some states, though - just didn't happen in this case.[/quote]

I think we have the same friend ;-)  He paid for years, voluntarily.  The child (now 21) has no idea he's not her dad.  The ex bashed him to the child, would have her call looking for $$ for computers, back to school clothes, if the support was a day late, etc.

The child has severe mental illness, as her bio father is schizophrenic.  Again, she has no idea and refuses treatment.

And for the PP about not having an abortion but told her current husband the truth?  No one said she shouldn't have had the child.  But why doesn't the child deserve the same truth?  Growing up knowing this man CHOSE to stay in his life and loves him is a great thing.  Could be a valuable life lesson.[/quote]

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