Reply to How to pull away from a friend who only talks about herself, her kids, etc.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The sister comment is interesting. I ask lots of questions in conversations with friends. I know so much about their extended families, where they live, what they do for a living, etc., because I’m genuinely interested in people’s back stories and family dynamics. But the reverse is not true. I don’t think many of my friends know anything at all about my family.[/quote]

I’m just like you, OP! Patient, kind, sensitive - a great listener (and in a helping profession).

I’ve dropped friendships when I quickly realize that I could quickly recall as you said - entire back stories, every detail she’s shared about  childhood and current family but should the situation be reversed, I knew this “friend” would likely recall nothing about me, likely because she never shut up enough to ask. So one sided and so frustrating. This isn’t friendship or even how you build a relationship…with anyone.

I have no answers. I also have very few friends, but I am blessed to have close sibling relationships, a long marriage, young adult DC and a group of childhood  friends I see intermittently.

If you are going to take the time to ask ME questions, listen to my stories and get to know me just as I would like to do for you, then we will be friends. I think this is rare; so many self-involved, rude and discourteous people who are  disinterested in friendships.[/quote]

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