Reply to My marriage is going to break over the little things

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you come at him like that? It’s very accusatory. How about he honey, could you please put your plate in the dishwasher when you’ve finished? [/quote]

What's your recommendation on how I should have responded?[/quote]

Good question—
And the answer is you don’t respond at all. You take a deep breath and learn not to be quite so concerned with other people’s actions. This is not shoes on the sofa—this is clean underside of plate sitting on sofa. (And if you are worried the plate will flip over, “oops—here let me grab that for ya—-I don’t want the plate to flip over and get pizza sauce on the sofa….” Because this is YOUR fear and /or pet peeve. Not his.)
If the plate is still there in 2 hours, then say “honey can you please grab your plate and bring it to the sink?”
But my guess is that it wouldn’t have been there for two hours.
So your problem is somewhere between 30 seconds and two hours.
How short is a shirt enough time.
Is it okay to park the plate there for any length of time?
If no—then the simple convo of “babe this is a thing that bothers me…can you please not put plates on the sofa?”
I doubt he’d be all “no you’re ridiculous!” if you approached this with any sort of kindness and diplomacy.[/quote]

Exactly. You  need to approach this as a YOU problem and solve it without resenting or criticising your husband. It may seem obvious to you that plates don't belong on the sofa (why, I'm not sure) but it's just as obvious to your DH that plates are ok on the sofa. If you don't like it, move it yourself or take a deep breath and just chalk it up to one of your husband's lovable quirks.[/quote]

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