Reply to Want to raise happy, successful kids? ‘Wait as long as possible’ to give them a phone’ (Yale)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Done.

I also think we should be talking more about [b]not giving kids tablets at 4 or 5[/b]. It just hooks them on screens and apps and wires their brains for it, even if they are doing "learning apps" and not on social media at that age.

It's hard, but if you can just resist the urge to buy them an iPad as long as possible, it's good for their brains. It's one thing to give them a tablet occasionally as a one off on a long plane ride or to survive an interminable wait at a doctors office. But see if you can get them to live mostly screen-free on an average day. If they watch TV/movies, make them watch it on an actual TV where they aren't interacting with the screen in that intimate way.

I really think it makes a big difference in development -- mental, emotional, social. [/quote]

4 or 5? Try taking them away from the toddlers and you'll be making serious progress. Cannot tell you how many 2 and 3 year old sideline siblings I see at my elementary kids' sporting events glued to tablets.

I'm not a perfect parent by far and all these other people probably have many areas where they are superior to me, but I did avoid that mistake. [/quote]

Agreed. And I am also not the perfect parent. But FWIW it has not been super hard at all to be tablet free so far - my kids are 5 and 3. Yes they are annoying to deal with restaurants  :lol: but for me it is worth it overall to NEVER HAVE THEM ASKING ME FOR A TABLET/SCREEN/GAME etc. I find the whining and entitlement SO ANNOYING (can you tell??) I also want them to tune into their surroundings, observe social dynamics etc. I learned so much as a kid just passively observing things like my mom talking to the grocery store butcher and whatnot. It was fascinating to me to observe all the interpersonal dynamics in the world. is hard to explain but it is something I want my kids to experience.

[/quote]

To me the real payoff came at 7 when DC started reading chapter books and became happily engrossed in them whenever there was downtime. If you can hold out for this, it's gold. You wind up with a kid who has an attention span and can be entertained without needing the constant stimulation/feedback of a tablet. Even if your kid isn't a huge reader, even if you don't live the books they read, even if it's graphic novels. It's all STILL better than a phone/tablet. But you need to be willing to stay strong through those preschool and early elementary years. Your reward starts in mid-elementary and just increases with time because the patience/attention span/self-entertaining skills increase. So even when your kid gets a phone in MS, they have the ability to not be glued to it. You can take it away. You can set limits at night and during homework and family time. And they won't flip out because they haven't spent the last decade training their brain to respond to a little screen in their hands 24/7.

Btw, I've made a million parenting mistakes, y'all could rake me over the coals for so much. But this I am rightfully proud of because it worked and it was not easy. [/quote]

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