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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "DH says his success is my success "
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am you, but it sounds like you may be a bit younger than I am. My kids are now HS/college. A few thoughts... you have to stop caring what other people think, like, at all. Maybe you are too young to feel that way now, but it will come. Also, it's not necessarily about what YOU want... it's about what's best for your family. At least that's how I think about it. I've always thought of my family as a unit... not just DH, not just the kids, not only myself, but us as a unit together. I also have a special needs child, so that has come into the mix. If DH did not have such a high paying job and there was any question that more money would help, I'd be out there working and contributing financially to the family. In my (and your) case, that's not where I'm most needed though. No, I am not "responsible" for DH's success. To me, that's a sort of ridiculous way to think of it. I am true to myself, knowing I'm where I'm meant to be, which is the most important thing, really. For a long time, I thought I'd go back to work as my kids got older. I was not at peace not working, as at one point career was a huge part of my identity and something I loved, and it was easier to reconcile thinking I was on break. When people used to ask me about it, I'd say I was considering going back in a year or two. Now, although I truly do think it's never too late to go back to work... as I get older, my priorities change and a slower way of life is starting to sound more enticing. I don't want to get into a stay home/working mom debate... but I'd suggest you do some soul searching and really ask yourself what feels right? And if it's exactly what you're doing, keep doing that and don't worry about what people will think at your college reunion. You don't owe them anything, nor do you have anything to prove to them. Ignore the nuanced comments about why you would not work... they're in the same category as everyone asking the single 30 year old women when she's going to get married, or the childless 35 year old when she's going to have kids. The post by the SMBC resonates with me in that you can't please all of the people all of the time... so focus on yourself and forget about everyone else outside of your immediate family. Other than them, there's really no reason to try to please anyone else any of the time. [/quote]
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