Reply to Competitive academics - what to tell the smart, hard-working kid who isn't "the best"

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Reply to "Competitive academics - what to tell the smart, hard-working kid who isn't "the best""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, the reality is - and you’re not going  to like this - some of those kids are just smarter. They don’t have to work as hard. Particularly the ones also excelling at sports. They aren’t “winning” because they’re doing so much more. This isn’t all of those kids, but a chunk. The lesson is that there is always going to be someone smarter than you, better than you, richer than you, someone less smart, less gifted, less affluent. Comparison is silly. Success is not pie, someone having some doesn’t mean you can’t have any. Sure it may for these honors right now, but not in any big picture sense. Let her make peace with being average. Average is okay. [/quote]

This is weird DCUM word salad.

First, you are literally comparing students and saying some are smarter and then saying "comparison is silly." That's meaningless. If some kids are being recognized as better for certain skill sets, you can say "comparison is silly" until you are blue in the face and your kid will know you are lying because they live in a world where comparison is prevalent and meaningful. Yes, their world is narrow right now. It still exists. And comparison is forced upon these kids.

Second, we're talking about a kid who gets great grades, makes honor roll, and receives awards for excellence in a couple areas where they really excel. That kid is not academically average. They are only average if you are only looking at the subset of kids who actually care about and work at academics, which is not the majority of kids. That kid is above average academically. They may not be a superstar, but hey aren't "average." An average kid is getting some Bs and Cs, doesn't always do their homework, but gets by and is going to graduate. They aren't winning writing awards and studying earth sciences in their free time in 10th grade.

And yes, average is okay. But when you tell a kid who is clearly academically inclined and hard working (if not some kind of genius or superstar, but clearly smart and disciplined) they are just average, what does that make the actually average kids? Some of you have no sense of perspective about all of this. You really and truly believe that if a kid isn't getting a 1600 on the SAT and getting admitted to the tippy top schools, they are just average and need to just suck it up and deal. No wonder the college boards are constantly in full meltdown mode -- your standards are psychotic.[/quote]

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