Reply to Canceling plans and disappointing other families’ kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone is saying that the ds should be resilient and realize that sometimes plans change. Well, maybe his mom needs to realize that sometimes plans change and OP may want to spend a day with her family if their plans get canceled. Fair is fair[/quote] Yes, of course.  No one in this thread has said otherwise. And OP has not indicated that her friend would have a problem if she cancelled. [/quote]

This is OP. She would absolutely be pissed if I canceled.[/quote]

Well it does sound like there are two separate sets of plans here so I get her point. And I think she’s doing the right thing by addressing her child’s unacceptable behavior.

I guess you have to decide whether it’s worth the hit to your friendship and the friendship between your son and hers which is the likely outcome if you cancel. Might not be because sounds like it would hurt your son who has few friends a lot more than anyone else.

[/quote]

This is OP. I guess there is more to this story because I feel like this woman always treats my family like we are an option and not a priority. I will genuinely be upset if these plans cancel. I really won’t feel like spending the day with her. My son has a couple good friends. I’d like him to build more friendships, but not with people who discount him or his feelings. I think we teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate from them. [/quote]

I have friends whose kids like my kids more than my kids like theirs. I have two boys who have their own friends. I have two friends who I became friends with when our boys were little. They are 100% in when their boys want to do something with mine but my boys don’t really want to hang out with them. I used to force it but I don’t make plans with them anymore. If I try to hang out without the kids, both friends are often busy or don’t make it a priority. One friend in particular never wants to do anything solo with just me but if I bring my husband or boys, she always says yes.

I also have another friend whose daughter is the same age as mine. She only wants to hang out with me, not my kids or family.

I would try to separate adult friendships from kid friendships. It will only get worse as kids age.[/quote]

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