Reply to Are you ok w your son having a GF?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][twitter][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not be crazy about this scenario.  My kid really only has 1 night per week to see friends so if he is hanging out with a gf from another school, he is not seeing his friends from HS which would make me nervous about him socially isolating at school and becoming dependent on her.

My son does have a gf at his school.  I have only met her once but she seemed great!  And they each seem to maintain their own lives.[/quote]

If your teen only has one night a week to see friends and de-stress that is your fault as a parent. Chiming in about relationships, also your fault [/quote]

Really?  How many nights a week does your teen hang out with friends?  Mine has homework plus soccer practice twice a week and games plus scouts camping once a month.  Al stuff he picked - I don’t pick his activities for him.  “Long distance” relationships are tough for a lot of reasons and have a lot of challenges — I wouldn’t ban it but I would not be crazy about it.  My son’s fist Gf was at a different school in a different town—I didn’t say anything but I was glad when they broke up because he was spending a lot of time just on phone with her.  This current relationship is so much healthier — they go out for snacks after school, can take the bus to meet up, can study for an exam together, etc.  
it’s okay as a parent to be less than enthusiastic about a teen’s relationship if it’s preventing them from doing other things that are healthy.[/quote]

Nah you are controlling.

Saying you don’t like your son spending too much time on the phone so you are glad they broke up? Yikes. It’s called socialization.

And why do you care since the poor kid only has one free night a week

Some of you parents only have eyes for college resumes and forget that these teens need social skills, autonomy, street smarts and how to navigate a world, post schooling and college resume activities. [/quote]

This is funny because you don’t know me but I am pretty much the opposite of  controlling. As his grades would attest.   My kid is the one that’s been randomly wandering the neighborhood since he was 8.  He pretty does what he wants when he wants and I occasionally weigh in with my opinion on the matter.  Whether my hands off approach is a good idea or not — I don’t know.  But I don’t have it in me to try to control another person’s choices.

But I also think it’s fine for a parent to have feelings about what their kid does, including the feeling that maybe it’s not great for a HS student to spent a significant amount of their free time with someone that detracts from them building relationships and a social life at the school .  OP, I am validating your feelings.  [/quote]

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