Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Dating after major weight loss"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]5, single, and recently lost 140lbs. I have stretch marks - started during puberty but had more with weight gain - on most areas of my body. I have loose skin - looking into getting skin removal surgery. I’m ready to get out there and date after being single for many years, but I’m very self- conscious about the stretch marks and my loose skin. I don’t like wearing certain clothes because of it. I’m also weary of having to tell someone I lost that much weight. How do I get over this because I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. [/quote] If you're not comfortable in/with your skin, you can't expect others to be. If it bothers you this much, you'll project that insecurity into any relationship. The problem isn't that you have a normal body. The problem is that you don't value and respect your own body and what it has been through and done for you. You will attract "partners" who validate your insecurities. Date yourself. Love yourself. If you decide you want surgery, okay. But the posters suggesting you should take on debt to change your appearance have it all backwards. You might hate those scars, too. Surgery as a solution tends to snowball into more body loathing, more critiques, more surgery... You don't have to be a flawless object to be worthy of love, respect and good care. A "high caliber" partner would also see it that way, and value your body for the fact that it holds the rest of what makes you who you are. If you want someone who's interested purely in your body, follow the other advice. If you want to date for a relationship, work on your relationship with yourself so your standards are properly calibrated first.[/quote] 🙄 Spoken like someone who's never lost 140 pounds.[/quote] Babe, I've lost 100, gained most of it back, lost 40 and counting again, had two kids (nursed both), and have had stretch marks the width of my pinkie since I was a teen because I have EDS. So if you want to hate your body, go on ahead with that. But it's optional, and doing the psychological work is part of losing dead weight.[/quote] Yes but she's not asking how to feel good about herself. She's asking how to attract a man. It's a lot easier to say "love your imperfectiins!" when you've already locked down a husband and had his children.[/quote] It’s fascinating that you write as if the two are mutually exclusive rather than crucially interrelated. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics