Reply to Mom forgets coffee in microwave multiple times a week

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you move in with your mom after your dad died? Did you live on your own before? Are you in a transitional phase in your own life at this time? 
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I lived a few hours away on my own before and my mom has never lived in her own before. My brother lives in the same city but he’s very hands-off; I was the one who helped my parents financially and frequently checked-in on them. My mom didn’t want to live alone and she had a mortgage that she couldn’t afford so I moved in to cover that but more importantly because she didn’t want to be alone.[/quote]

I say this kindly, is it at all possible that you are looking for a reason that your mom needs you as a caregiver right now? Maybe to “justify”  to others, or even yourself, the idea of you living with your mom?

Your mom sounds busy and very active for someone her age, and the incidents you’ve mentioned just don’t sound that concerning to those of us who have dealt with older parents and dementia. So maybe something else is going on here.

Just something to give thought to. [/quote]

She would call me crying about living alone and feeling lonely, so no.

I moved from the city to Farmville, Va - this is not something that I wanted. [/quote]

Have you lived alone most of your adult life? Maybe you are just not used to living with others so little things like the beep of the microwave really bother you. It’s hard to get accustomed to sharing living space with another person when you are used to having complete control over your space. 
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Why are you harping on my living habits? I’m not annoyed by the beeping. I was concerned because of the frequency and her not realizing for many hours that something in there even though is in ear shot of the beeping.

My brother was concerned. I’m concerned. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. [/quote]

But this is a really common thing to do- even for people in their 20s and 30s- so it is not really indicative of anything concerning.

It just sounds like you are the one bothered by the beeping and/or you’re actively looking for something to be wrong with your mom so that she needs care.

I get the beeping thing- my husband is really bothered by sounds like that after working in a fairly quiet office setting before Covid. I, on the other hand, spent a lot of my life working with kids of various ages in settings where there was a lot of activity going on. He is very bothered by microwave beeps and feels the need to take whatever it is out of the microwave right away. To me, it’s just a little peep in the background and I could easily let it go on in the background while I am busy working.

People are just wired different ways- one way isn’t right or wrong, better or worse. We’re just different, and different doesn’t mean something is wrong with someone. [/quote]

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