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Reply to "Empty nesters- What do you talk about with your spouse"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The same things we’ve talked about our whole relationship. Are you saying while you had kids at home you only talked about your kids and work?[/quote] OFC not. But kids were the focus. The activities, schools, friendships, playdates, sports, etc. etc. When that is gone, there is a LOT of space to fill. I have no idea how I filled that time before having a baby. It's just a blur. Then you have them. And then it's just . . . . done. Some of us feel the grief of the loss. The confusion of what to do with our time. I know I'm struggling with that right now. [/quote] This response is a good reminder for young couples to nurture their relationship while they are in the early child raising years.[/quote] I mean, this is kind of a helpful response but also kind of smug. We do have hobbies and jobs. We have friends we hang with, separate and together. But the fact is, kids suck a lot of the time. A lot of the time. And when you have no family to help it's even more so the case.[/quote] NP: No one said it was easy. But a lot of couples make the fatal flaw of making their children the center of the family unit. [b]The spousal relationship should be first and foremost. [/b]Children come second. People who make the family revolve around the children are the ones who end up divorced or strangers in an empty nest. [/quote] You can only do this if you have family nearby to watch the kids while you go on dates or if you can afford babysitters. Unfortunately, neither is the case with us. [/quote] Prioritizing spousal connection can happen after kids go to sleep, while they are at friends houses, taking an afternoon off together, trading childcare with friends etc. When you value your spousal relationship you find a way to make it work.[/quote] Your point gets lost in the dripping condescension and smugness. You don’t know peoples individual circumstances. [/quote] Maybe if you spent less time being rageful and more time working on your relationship you’d have something to talk about.[/quote] Maybe you should re-read the thread to see which one of us was the bigger b----. You also don't know what "rageful" means if you think that the PP was rageful. LOL. Not surprising by the tone and manner posts, though. [/quote]
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