Reply to It's BAD..I don't want it anymore!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. For clarity...it has not always been like this. When we moved in together intimacy was nothing like it is now. I have spoken with him also, and I am met with promises to do better and that he is still attracted to me. Outside the bedroom he tells me I am so sexy, and even says things he wants to do with me, and then they just never happen...

I am divorced and yes, I am sorry my child has to be exposed to a break up. I won't live with a man again! That's for sure[/quote]

Who does what portion of the household work? Who earns what portion of the household income? How does he treat your child?

The only other thing I can think of is that he's got some kind of issues with sex that may stem from a past experience of abuse.

In any case, depending on the quality of the relationship in other areas, you've got to either insist on couples therapy to work this out, or ask him to move out.

Most men are very adept at being BS artists - it's part of the toxic masculinity, the mask they learn to wear very early in the socialization process. Telling women they are sexy, blah blah blah, is all part of that for many men. They know how to get women on the hook, and many of them are just looking for a nurse/purse or a sexual release without concern for what is happening in the body or mind of the woman. It's sad, but it is undeniably true. Not all men, but . . . [/quote]

OP here. I am the breadwinner, and work full time. I pay all the bills, including both car payments, mortgage, etc. We have a very nice life that I have worked hard for. He picks up odd jobs, here and there, but nothing that significantly impacts our finances. He had a job when we met of course, but now he hardly works.

I mange everything with the running of the house and our life, other than manual labor related to outside work.

He does do a lot of housework, etc and will cook, but I expect this since he is not working a steady job and I provide everything else. He is good to my child. That would be an immediate deal breaker! [/quote]

you've created a mess. Good luck getting him out of your house![/quote]

Hang on here - that is not fair to OP!

OP has picked herself up from whatever went wrong with her child’s father, and she has built a mostly wonderful life for herself and her child.

Is her sex-life perfect?  No! But realistically, whose is?  I think her boyfriend need to step up here, BUT:

- no man is a mind-reader.  Sure, he should “figure it out,” but OP:  don’t waste time waiting, and just TALK to him about exactly what you want in bed (once a week is pretty good, BTW).

Be graphic if need be.  You are no longer a little child; adult talk about SEX with each other, or at least they should, without dumb reservations.  Again, be explicit; don’t waste time.

His other shortcomings?  Again - no one is perfect.  Your future depends on:  can he change? Or are you better off alone again, searching for someone who may or may not ever come along?  Your call on that.[/quote]

I agree with a lot of this[/quote]

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