Reply to How to politely shut down super-privileged boomer parents' complaints?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd have a frank conversation with your father about setting up 529s for the kids.  If he can seed them well, you might not need to contribute anything and their college will be paid for.  For me, that's such a huge burden to be released.

Next, to end the discussions you have to drop the rope.  Don't suggest fixes, don't compare their lives to yours, don't offer helpful tips or even any real commiseration.  You just go "ah" or "huh" or "interesting" the whole time they talk about it.  Then when they wait for a response, don't give one.  Just let it be silent and then say "ok, well I have to go!" and hang up.[/quote]

[b]We've had 529's for the kids since they were born, have asked for contributions instead of whatever else for years, and they've never done it.[/b] Dropping the rope is a great idea, thanks. I'm not trying to antagonize them, nor am I trying to get them to change (been there, tried that on so many things, no luck), I just need to extricate myself from conversations that make me feel shitty and resentful.[/quote]

This is the tell. It’s unlikely that you’ll inherit from these people. As others have said, if your dad dies first, it’s even more unlikely. Actions speak louder than words. People who aren’t sharing with you now are unlikely to pass their estate to you.[/quote]

I feel bad for OP that she can’t see what is going to happen here. OP, you need to reset your expectations to be like those of the PP who assumed her wealthy parents money would all be eaten up by a luxury lifestyle and nursing care - you will be lucky to see anything.

Prioritize the relationship for your kids with zero expectation of the payoff at the end which you are clearly expecting. [/quote]

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