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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was raised Roman Catholic and am struggling with if/how I want to raise my future children when it comes to the church.  I left the church halfway through college and my siblings and parents have all left as well. My parents (who went to catholic school with nuns as teachers, made us go to CCD, midnight mass, Easter vigil, give things up for Lent, etc.) are now very vocally critical of the church. I share all their concerns...but I still feel this nostalgia for the whole thing. I don't know how else to explain it.

It makes me sad to imagine my future kids not being baptized, lighting Advent candles, going to fish fries during Lent, having first holy communions. Being Catholic was just such a big part of my family culture and was for generations. It feels weird to just stop that. The only family traditions that my family of origin has are all related to Catholicism in some way. Without those things I feel like I won't have any traditions that tie me and my children to our ancestors.

I do go to mass by myself very occasionally just to feel close to my deceased grandparents who were devout. I always leave feeling very melancholy, like I'm an interloper who shouldn't be there and is disrespecting people who are there for the "right" reasons. I don't know if that would get better or worse if I brought my kids. My actual faith is probably best described as agnostic but with a love of rituals?

Does anyone have any advice? Similar experience?
Please know that I mean no disrespect to any practicing Catholics. I'm posting with genuine sadness and conflict in my heart. [/quote]

You're either all in or you're not. Calling yourself agnostic in something you wrote and could edit before posting is not a slip of the tongue. Sorry, it doesn't get more 'out' than that. Girl, bye.[/quote]

That is a terrible thing to write and absolutely not a Catholic value. The Catholic Church has room and encourages seekers who are trying to figure it out. How are people supposed to figure it out if they aren't welcome to experience God working through an entire community. I feel God's presence differently depending where I am and who I am with (praying alone before sleep vs at a full Mass) but both are meaningful and worthwhile. I urge the OP to continue attending Mass at different parishes until she finds one that feels right. Next, join the parish, volunteer or get involved in an activity- knowing others really deepens the connection bc you are receiving God in communion with others. There is a reason you are feeling called, don't shut that down. God bless you on this journey.[/quote]

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