Reply to my husband said something yesterday that broke my heart

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd get rid of the dirty clothes and replace with new ones. Can you go for walks together?    Can you help enforce the healthy eating?   Maybe private trainer if hes self conscious about going to the gym? [/quote]

I truly don't mean to keep offering reasons why this or that won't work, because these are all good suggestions. We do go for some walks together but then his knees hurt and he has to stop. He did PT for a while which was helping with the pain, but then he stopped. I really can't make him do more than he does.

We eat healthy meals together, then he eats a crazy amount in snacks. You're going to lose your mind when I tell you he smokes, too ( not in the house). It's all bad, and I mean it when I say I can only fight so much. He KNOWS what he should do, and he doesn't need me telling me what he already knows. He has to decide that he wants to change these habits.

He doesn't want to work with a personal trainer. Maybe I should just make the appointment with one and see where it goes. I am trying to be encouraging and hands off about the therapy, and see if working with this person can help him get to the place where he's ready to make changes with these other things.

But I also think all this is aside from him feeling like people are laughing at him. These are all things that would work if he wanted to put effort into losing weight. Even if he doesn't, I really don't see people laughing at him! I think I would notice. I think I would notice? I am usually fairly socially aware.

I want him to feel good just as he is, even if nothing changes.

He has a whole closet of nice clothes. He replenishes his stuff fairly often. But sometimes he wants to wear a terrible old t-shirt, and that's his choice, too.[/quote]

OP, has he tried Wellbutrin? I’m on it as an antidepressant, but it has done wonders for my mood with the added benefit of making me snack a lot less (a lot of people report losing weight on it). It helps with addictions so is also used to help quit smoking and as a side benefit helps with mindless eating.

Also just wanted to say he is lucky to have you![/quote]

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