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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And you wonder why we're so emphatic about protecting the right the choose.

Listening to how you view birth mothers makes me 1,000% sure I would never carry an unwanted pregnancy to term just to "give the gift of a child" to one of you ruthless women.
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Can't help but agree with this sentiment.

And to the PP who insists that people are choosing foreign adoption because they don't want contact with birth families-- you are woefully misinformed.  It's because there are many fewer healthy infants available for adoption in this country as there are families who want to adopt them.  And with attitudes like the ones expressed in this thread-- OP included-- hmmm, I wonder why?
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I am not at all misinformed.  Many people want their children to be, in every way, their children.  They don't want to be in touch with someone who may attempt to influence their children or judge. (vocally and to their. 
children) disagreements about parenting.  Snd for those who see no problem with periodic updates to birth parents, what if the birth patent feels very differently about fundamental issue such as religion, sexuality, ethnicity of adoptive parents' future spouses?  What if the child develops a significant medical, emotional or other disorder?  What if the child's adoptive parents make other big decisions the birth might not agree with?  I don't want to be scrutinized by another adult who may feel rights with respect to my child or my parenting.

[b]Foreign adoptions are much, much easier on adopted kids and their adoptive parents in this regard[/b], and every single one of my friends who has adopted a foreign child has told me they are relieved about this.  In my experience, adoption is not volunteeri g to help raise someone else's child.  It's not about it taking a village to raise a child.  it's about parents who want to have a child, and a woman who has decided she is unable or unwilling to raise her own.  All people involved are equally lucky.  People treat adoptive parents as if they are so lucky to be chosen by a birth parent, but I think the birth parent is equally lucky to have the opportunity to have someone else take care of snd live a child she is unae or unwilling to keep.  As a result, I do t think either party owes the other any continuing relationship or anything else.  [/quote]

Studies done on children who were adopted just do not bear this out.  Do the research.

And please explain to me how sending some photos to the birth parents once a year would subject the adoptive family to their opinions about religion, sexuality, etc?

I'm sorry, but yes, you are woefully, woefully misinformed about open adoption.  It has nothing to do with birth family claiming "rights" over how the child who was adopted is parented.[/quote]

Again, not misinformed, I just disagree with you.  And sending photos is not the key problem, though I don't believe that they should be required.  Several earlier posters advocate, or ask why adoptive parents would mind, sending annual update letters.  Very different from photos.  Would you write an "update" that leaves out that your adopted son is gay?  That he is failing out of school?  That he has a medical issue?  A drug addiction? That he's moved to another state (or abroad) with one parent after a divorce?  I mean really, if you're going to provide an "update," it should at least include these matters?  I don't want anyone to be required to write about any of that to anyone.  It's a privacy issue, not anything negative about birth parents.  And as for "rights," birth parents do sometimes feel that they have rights regarding their a biological children.  Not to say that those rights are legal rights to take action, but moral rights to attempt to persuade adoptive parents to act in a different way, or rights to interject their own views on an issue by raising it directly with their biological child.  [/quote]

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