Reply to I am so torn between having to work and caring for my sick daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So neither you nor your husband (a DOCTOR) have thought to investigate why she gets sick so often.
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Neither her physician parent [b]nor her pediatrician[/b] tried to establish a diagnoses or refer to a specialist. This happens so often, truly mind boggling. [/quote]

Pediatricians can only work with what the patients and their families tell the pediatrician or that they can diagnose when they are there.  I knew a family like this where the child had a significant autoimmune condition, but it took years to diagnose because when the child had issues, they didn't always take her in to the pediatrician.  And then when they did go, they didn't always tell the pediatrician all of the symptoms and issues.  In their case it was because the family had financial struggles and the parents were trying to avoid copays and expensive treatments, so they often looked for less expensive home or homeopathic remedies (which didn't really help much).  After a few years, when the child was about 8, they finally had an annual checkup when the child was having issues and the story started unraveling for the pediatrician who took control of the situation, talked the parents off the financial ledge, prescribed things that were covered under the insurance formulary and referred them to a specialist who also took their insurance.  It was amazing the difference this made to the child's health.

OP, you really, really need to get your child to both your regular pediatrician and to an allergist and you have to be honest with them about the issues.  You need to follow their advice and get your child medical help.  After you have appropriate medical intervention for your child and you are following the instructions and schedule with the doctors for how to get a proper diagnosis and treatment plan, then you need to focus on your work and rebuilding your reputation with your clients.  After you have the medical treatment plan in place, you stop treating your 12 yo like a 3 year old.  Your child can learn to stay home and take care of herself when she is sick.  You should focus on your work with only spot checks on her when you have a quick break like lunch or a short break between meetings, etc.  At 12, she needs to be able to entertain herself and considering how often she's been out of school, some of that needs to be makeup work for school.  You or she can contact her teachers and find out whether there is a way to either make up or follow up on material she's missed and assignments she may have missed.  For instance, my 12 yo old twins have work assigned in class.  If they miss class, they can still do the work and turn it in late.  Late work is still graded with about 5% deduction, but still accepted and graded and counted towards grades.  But my children both know how it works and they take care to ask for materials and assignments that occurred if they missed class.  And they work on making that material up.  So, the last time my son with allergies stayed home from school due to a seasonal allergy attack (about 2-3 weeks ago), he went in the next day, talked to his teachers and the next two evenings, he spent catching up on schoolwork he missed.  [/quote]

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