Reply to How "bad" is our dinner routine- parents eating separate from kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP. You are totally ok because of course you aren't going to make or break anything this way as you are still spending a ton of quality time with your kids and your husband which is also important. But I do agree with others that at the age of your oldest I would really recommend starting a slow transition to family meals. The joy you get from cooking and eating with your husband, you ultimately want your kids to get that same joy as a family. It is a really bonding family thing just as you've found it bonding with your husband. Does that make sense? It will require a shift and you can start with just one night a week - pick sundays maybe.

The reason I recommend shifting is it is part of building your family culture and helping your kids learn to enjoy a variety of foods and learn to cook! Think of all the opportunity and joy they are missing around learning to cook. Since you and your husband both enjoy this, it would really be a bummer not to pass that on to your kids and these early years are the best time to do so.

We have a similar schedule and we also love to cook together. We spend from 5-6p many weeknights and definitely Sunday night cooking as a family. Initially that might not be fun, but once you do it enough it really will be. We turn on music and my 6 year old is quite skilled honestly at helping now. He can chop/prep veggies while my husband preps other things, knows how to make a few dishes on his own, etc, knows how to watch for the rolling boil and put the pasta in, things like that (we are around the kitchen and supervising but he has a little stool and is pretty independent now because he's been doing it for years). Our 3 year old likes to stand at the stove in his learning tower with my husband and help stir etc. This has come from years of time and effort building this, so it won't happen overnight. But from your description, i really think you would enjoy it. It is so rewarding to see my children learning to love cooking.

One of your barriers is the current preferred foods, but what I would do is cook what you want and incorporate the preferred foods as safe foods at each dinner. And sometimes do try to adjust the meals slightly so your kids can start to become used to them (adding spice for yourself later sometimes for example). but our youngest is much more selective, so we still cook the larger meals but we will have a couple other options on the table too. Sometimes he doesn't eat the main and eats the safe foods adn that's fine. So you can still throw out nuts, cheese, etc. as part of the meal. This will all serve so many purposes - when your children are engaged in the cooking they will be more likely to try things. And even sitting at the table while you eat it will be exposure even if they dont' eat a bite.

Go slowly, you're fine. But I think you could enjoy this, it will take some time and work. And your kids will get used to a new food schedule. They are used to eating at 5 so their bodies will tell them it's time to eat! So it will be a slow switch but eventually they will be able to tolerate waiting til 6.[/quote]

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