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[quote=Anonymous]I am in a sexless marriage. We haven’t had sex in at least 5 years and are in the process of divorcing. The lack of sex is clearly not the only problem but a very clear one that is hard to explain away.

I also have a 10 year old and tbh this is a pretty hard age when it comes to figuring out whether we need to wait to divorce bc of logistics. When they are in diapers, its pretty clear its not a good time if only for the extra crap that needs to go from one house to another. When they are teenagers, they are fairly self sufficient and can be home alone after school (for instance). But 10 is tough. There are so many factors where their maturity level at this age - they are mature in some ways but still kids in others - really is a determining factor in divorce timing, at least for us. One we have discussed is whether they will need after school care (can they stay home alone for 15 mins at one parents house when they get home from school when the other parent works from home). Will their summer sitter go between houses with them? Stuff like that which won’t be a factor in even a year or two.

You say you think that everyone deserves to know, but there is a lot that happens in someone else’s house that you have no idea about. They could very well be figuring out stuff like this and your DH isn’t privy to it. DW could be doing what many women do and getting her ducks in a row now. You could blow that up for her.

Just think about what happens *after* you tell her.

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