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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. Thanks to those who have offered their perspective, different as they may be. Additional info a few PPs requested:

1) DH claims he’s only known for a few months, not 8 years.
2) Best Friend claims he and his DW are sexless so there is no risk of STD transmission.
3) Their DC is 10. Ours are a bit younger.

My brain tells me I should mind my own business, particularly if point 2 is true (and Best Friend has no reason to outright lie to DH), but I still feel sick.[/quote]

Why do you feel sick? What specifically is it that makes you feel sick? Are you really sick over this specific situation, or is it making you sick thinking about how it could be your husband? Figure out why this makes you feel sick and then address the root cause. [/quote]

I feel sick because if it were me, I’d want to know. I feel very strongly that every person has a right to know regardless of what they choose to do with that information. And especially because by now I do consider her a friend in and of herself, I feel extra sh*tty NOT making sure she knows.[/quote]

OP, I'm with you on this.  I feel uncomfortable keeping secrets while smiling in someone's face.  Yes, letting friend's spouse know will cause a great upheaval, and your spouse is going to probably be angry with you.  But do you have a moral compass?  It's obviously telling you to do something.[/quote]

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