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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD is 12 and over the past few months has started obsessing over all the things she “needs” but doesn’t have, or have enough of (in her opinion). I swear every week she is asking for something. Last week she was begging for Ugg slippers because everyone is wearing them to school now. This week it was a specific lip gloss all her friends have and a new color of a Lululemon sweatshirt “everyone” else seems to have. A couple weeks ago she came home from a friend’s birthday slumber party upset that she was the only one who didn’t have a pair of these $150 pajamas (and yes I could see from a picture the mom sent out that all the girls were in fact wearing these PJs). All of her requests are so expensive, which I don’t think she recognizes at all.

We live in an affluent neighborhood and from what I can tell many of the kids do have these things. DH and I both work and are fortunate that we make a good living, but we want to make sure DD understands the value of money and isn’t just handed everything she wants. Right now I would say she gets about 60% of what she wants, but I think we need to set some clear ground rules/limits. More than anything I just want her to stop talking about all the things she wants non-stop as it gets tiring and makes her sound really obnoxious.

Anyone else deal with this? Curious how you reined it in.[/quote]

the same way my parents did- an allowance for lipgloss, jewelry, expensive Pjs/slippers etc.  My parents bough the basics and they were the 'cool things' but only 1 pair of athletic shoes, 1 pair of nice shoes, one pair of casual shoes. Got me one nice coat, one jacket/fleece. If I wanted the nicer coat, jacket etc.. it was either a treat or a birthday present.  I got money for religious holidays to supplement my allowance. I wa expected to budget and it would end up being about 1000 bucks per year through high school in the 90s so a nice healthy budget.

its also about modelling behavior- if you are buying yourself new stuff gratuitously then your kids will want the as well. if they see that you replace worn out clothes and things and actually get use out of them they will do the same. I know my mom taught me a one in one out policy that I have actually discontinued b/c she was very fashionable and got rid of stuff b/c it went out style and got new stuff. I have a less  trend driven aesthetic and wish she'd/I'd kept some of teh really nice leather goods and coats and stuff so I try to balance it and replace stuff when it gets worn out or raggedy and new make up/cosmetics when it runs out instead of replacing things due to trends. Given it's also b/c things go in and out much faster these days. Also as an adult you can 'shop' your closet more than a teenager can, so it's understandable that they want the things their peers have. [/quote]

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