Reply to Marriage not great-taking 5 day trip with DH to work on it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've had to work on my marriage recently and wouldn't necessarily recommend a trip for this (except maybe for a couple with kids who still adore each other but just haven't been able to connect in forever because of other commitments).

For most of us, the work needs to be in the day-to-day. I've made a huge effort over the last several months to do everything I can to show love and be a good partner, and it has totally worked. It's little stuff -- take out the trash when I know he's getting home late and will be tired, stop at the store to pick up a bunch of his favorite yogurt when he's running low or make sure he has his favorite fruits to take to work, ask him about how lunch went with the friend he didn't feel like meeting, I've been de-cluttering even though I didn't feel like it because he mentioned certain areas in our house were annoying him and it was mostly my stuff, I've stopped piling all my work stuff on the kitchen table so it's free and clear where he likes to sit and read the news in the morning, suggesting that we take the dogs to the park to walk together instead of just relying on him to walk them, picking up a new book for him when he mentioned he was almost done reading the one he had (he likes for me to choose books for him), sharing my own small victories with him (I recently got a cpap and the app gives me a "score" every morning and I've been showing them to him everyday), and showing interest in his small victories. I've also tried hard to show affection -- I've been giving a lot more hugs, kisses, and telling him how much I appreciate him. This kind of stuff. The mundane day-to-day stuff that adds up, for better or for worse.

This effort, after a couple of very rough years (mainly due to health issues and some depression) has totally worked. DH's now making a huge effort towards me as well, and I can see his smiles and happiness to see me and spend time with me coming back.

A five-day trip would not have done this. In fact it could have made things worse.

YMMV. [/quote]

I'm glad for you, but I hate the idea of having to meet someone 90 percent of the way.   Why do we neee to coddle and cajole?  Infuriating.[/quote]

The old adage: would you rather be right or be married?  Pp’s husband is not the only man who needed to be coddled for whatever reason (ask me how I know).  That’s how the chips fall sometimes: we married manbabies and we are choosing to remain married to them for our own reasons and we have to facilitate success on our own.[/quote]

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