Reply to Secretly starting to resent husband and all the care of his elderly mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do you need to work so much? Both of you should cut back. 60 with travel is a lot.[/quote]
Who’s going to pay for MIL’s care?[/quote]

You, in a different job that is more suitable to your situation. [/quote]

Don't listen to this person. Must be someone who's retired. Jobs aren't growing on trees and her kids will need those resources eventually. MIL's situation is temporary.
[/quote]

It doesn’t change the fact that having both parents have 60+ hrs/wk jobs with three kids is unsustainable for most families.  I worked part-time when my dh had a job like that.  He’s stepped back now and I’ve ramped up to full-time with some travel.  I don’t see how we would have managed otherwise.  [/quote]

The two parents working 60+ plus hours is really the crazy part of this whole scenario. Elderly parents get ill, siblings don't step up in meaningful ways, kids need care. The kids stopping their activities doesn't seem like a viable solution, nor does simply abandoning a sick 90-year-old woman. Getting some additional assistance with kids and mom would help. And one or both parents need to step back. It's almost as if OP and DH are in some competition to see who can burn out first.[/quote]

Or they have worked hard and are successful or on the path to becoming successful in their careers. They should not step back from their careers. They are already funding the elderly women’s 90k a year nursing care. They need to step back from the 90 year old and let the people they hired to take care  of her do it.

The idea that OP should give up her job or mommy track herself for MIL is insane. I guess to pay for the nursing care then the kids can give up college. No self respecting grandmother would ever want this to happen.[/quote]

Well, she has three young kids—so yes, she’s a mommy. She did that, has nothing to do with MIL. OP and her spouse made the choice to have three kids, so yes, one of them needs to stop being a 60 hour a week work gunner.[/quote]

This.  It’s nice that at least DH sounds like a good son, because both he and OP sound like crappy parents.  This is obvious when the first and only thought is basically “how can I outsource caring for or spending time with my family even more?”[/quote]

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