Reply to Do you lord money and control over your adult offspring?

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Reply to "Do you lord money and control over your adult offspring?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's a simple way to deal with this: stop asking your parents for money. You are an adult. Support yourself. Pay your own bills. If you can't afford your lifestyle, change your lifestyle.  Don't wait for an inheritance. Have no financial dealings with your parents at all.  You will much, much happier. [/quote]

That’s not how it works with financial abuse. It is rarely the adult child asking for money. The parent pretends to be generous, but does not disclose countless hidden strings. So they insist on fully funding grad school. Then you need to study during a holiday weekend rather than come home and you are the devil and the threats start. That is one of many examples. [/quote]

OP here- this exactly.

The controlling parent has lied to anyone who will listen for decades that he supports us financially and then throws a hissy fit when he hears through the grapevine that I have hired a professional rather than requesting his help (internet stalking my Google reviews).

I’d love to shut this off but simply keeping my distance isn’t enough.[/quote]

How many times are you people fooled by the "hidden strings" that go along with every handout? I mean.... fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice......[/quote]

That's not how it works. There are hidden strings with every gift, but if you refuse the gift you are mean spirited, ungrateful and have no manners and there will be drama. These are not normal, healthy people. The people who do this are desperate for control and get a high from conflict and dramatics. There are many genres of these people.

For example, if you are morbidly obese and diabetic on a special life saving diet? That family member will give you decadent sweets and/or send you clothing 10 sizes too small. Did you tell them baby toys that make noise give you a migraine? They will send you a huge box full of noisy baby toys and expect a long thank you note and clips of your baby playing with the toys. Does wool make you itch and break out in a rash? Merry Christmas-I found 4 extra itchy sweaters made of wool just for you! Then if you aren't gracious....drama ensues.[/quote]

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