Reply to Estrangement from parents causing them to reach out more in really weird and surface-level ways?

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Reply to "Estrangement from parents causing them to reach out more in really weird and surface-level ways?"

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[quote=Anonymous]As someone with parents like this- my advice:

- those who haven’t experience this do NOT understand. Ignore comments about you being mean, or you being the “crazy one” etc. They may mean well, but they have no idea what they are talking about, or what you are dealing with.

- long term estrangement is rarely the best way forward for YOU, trust me on that. It is more emotional work than maintaining a superficial or tightly managed relationship.

Email or text your parents a polite note. Thank them for the gifts and send a few recent photos of the baby, along with some brief comments on how baby is doing (he already weighs 10lbs! and I think he looks a bit like grandpa Larlo) etc. Then tell them that you are busy with the baby and recovering from childbirth- and need some time to think things through. Ask that they respect that and not contact you for a short period. Tell them you will contact them by (date 6-8 weeks from now) to talk and arrange a visit. Use this time to get yourself together, and perhaps get a few therapy sessions in. Keep your word and contact them by the date you told them.

Going forward, YOU keep control of the relationship for now, and schedule whatever regular visits you can handle. Public places (with a scheduled start time and end time) are often best. See how things go from there.

You can do this!

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