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[quote=Anonymous]I had a really controlling mother who was also prone to terrible decision making. It's one thing to be controlled by a generally competent adult whose decisions will lead to good outcomes. It's a completely different thing to be controlled by someone who has below average "adulting" skills.  She was flat broke, but even so she kind of bluffed that she had some kind of ability to support me after high school. In reality, she was barely able to keep me in food and clothes in a consistent manner. When I graduated high school, I joined the military to ensure my independence. I knew I'd be able to pay for my own college, I'd have the VA loan so I would be able to get a mortgage, etc. On the day I was to leave, she told me she wouldn't drive me to the processing station-- I think it was a last ditch attempt to control me. So I picked up the phone and called my recruiter and arranged for him to pick me up.

I did things the tough way, yes-- joining the military is hard and requires you trade a lot of your current independence for full emancipation at the end. But it made it so that I have never, ever had to ask any family member for a single dime, not a single favor. There is nothing as freeing as knowing that you are completely self sufficient and can pay your own college, etc, so no one else gets a say.  My mom does continue to try to use emotional coercion to influence me to do what she wants, but it just hits different when they have absolutely no leverage.  [/quote]

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