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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And increasingly been relying on me and my nuclear family to make up for the nuclear family she’s decided to give up on. She wants to be very involved as an aunt but it’s gone overboard with too much interest in my kids. It’s starting to feel unhealthy. Our parents don’t help, either. They encourage her involvement, even provide the transportation. They invite her along every time they visit us or meet us somewhere for the weekend, for example.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her— she’s well off with a great job, she’s attractive, she’s kind… I feel like she’s just decided to take the easy way out and more or less has turned to me and said, well, I’ll live vicariously through you, ok?

I think in the long run this situation could damage our relationship. DH has run out of patience, too.  I do believe to some extent that if someone of her means and position with hobbies and friends wants a family in todays world, they can (most of the time) make it happen. I personally think she just doesn’t want to take a risk and put in the effort, and she knows she has our parents willing to push her, literally and figuratively, through my doorway if need be. [/quote]

How old are your kids OP? My kids are in their late teens, and I would love it if they had a close relationship with my sister. My sister has her own kids, and they have a "normal" aunt relationship (enjoy being around her and the cousins, but not a close one where they would talk to her about things). Knowing that things will come up that my kids may not be comfortable discussing with me, and knowing that there is another adult in the family who loves and cares for them, and can guide them to make good choices would be ideal. [/quote]

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