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[quote=Anonymous]I think I get where you are going, OP. It's not in the details of every visit; it's the mental/emotional space. Essentially her life plan is to be a close part of your family, which is very nice and loving, but it can also be emotionally intrusive. The expectations of joinder without the understanding of what a family schedule is and how much of your mental work goes into it. The subtle expectation, unstated and maybe not yet even front of mind, that your kids will be the ones to care for her in her old age (in addition to caring for you). The need to always factor in another person, who will be alone if you don't make the plans to include them, sometimes at the expense of having core family time.

On the one hand, you want to do this, and every family has the single, potentially lonely person they need to keep an eye on and keep in the loving family loop. But, what you are probably feeling at the same time is that although she chose this (in your opinion), ultimately it has become your responsibility to make sure she isn't alone in life (or your parents are making you feel that way), and one day, because of her choices, it will be your children's responsibility. You are feeling a twinge of resentment, even though you probably will never act on it.[/quote]

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