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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to stop worrying about who she’s dating any needs to stop thinking of who she “ sees herself with” 
She’s 20, she’s got plenty of time for all this. 
The bigger concern is not finding her people. Having a GF is not the reason. [/quote]

Of course the gf is the reason. [/quote]

OP here --so if GF is the reason what if anything more can I say at this point? [/quote]

Seems your daughter longs for deep meaningful connection where she is someone's center and totally emotionally connected -maybe even enmeshed, she doesn't know how to do that in groups (doesn't matter if its lgbt groups  or straight girlfriends), she doesn't know how to put herself out there to meet guys (she probably wouldnt be comfortable with some guy rejecting her (which as we know is normal part of dating)..if you are not a troll I will say this in the nicest possible way--from the outside it looks like your daughter has recreated the relationship she has with you with this girlfriend -its familiar and comforting but maybe stifling. The best thing you can do is back off an help her separate herself emotionally from you--because that is the only way she will be able to figure out who she is and what she wants. Please dont be shamed into submission but dcum--its totally normal if you prefer your daughter end up straight than guy...just like its normal if you prefer she be a doctor rather than an artist--the most important thing is that she knows and you know you would love her no matter what.
Give your daughter breathing room, let her become her own person....[/quote]

OP here-    it looks like your daughter has recreated the relationship she has with you with this girlfriend -it's familiar and comforting but maybe stifling.  this is actually EXACTLY what I think. I feel like GF is taking on my role. My dd is super competent in so many areas but relies on me a little too much in others. she will be living in another city this summer. I am hoping this helps her to gain some confidence and independence. [/quote]

So you’re jealous of the GF?

And are you so blind that you cannot see how your extreme over-involvement in her social/romantic life is interferinf with her independence? Let her make mistakes, if this is a mistake. It’s ok. And you really need therapy. [/quote]

Op here --omg I am not jealous. I am concerned. I think my daughter is too dependent on me and has found a more grown up relationship with this girl but she provides much of the same. As the other poster said. I am not sure why you think I am jealous. I would love her to be more independent but I don't want to push her away. we actually enjoy each other very much. [/quote]

You realize none of this is your business and you getting involved is why she is too dependent on you.   You are the problem.[/quote]

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