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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Woman here. Had never cheated before, but I cheated on my stbx. We have been married for 15 years, haven’t had sex in 5 of those years due to factors I can’t control. I cheated bc I was hoping to fulfill my own sexual needs yet still stay married for all of the reasons one wants to stay married when they have children.

I found having an affair to be incredibly unfulfilling emotionally, and it made me realize that the lack of sex wasn't all that was lacking in my marriage. So, I tried to fix my marriage. I ended my affair and tried to rekindle things w my husband. Didnt work. We tried marriage counseling, turns out you cant really “work on” what is missing in our marriage. So we are getting divorced. He doesnt know that I cheated on him, it doesn’t change what is fundamentally wrong with our relationship and his knowing won’t change anything at this point.

I post this to point out that not everyone cheats bc they are narcissists. Some people are just trying to do the best they can with what they have in life and make poor decisions in the process.

Flame away.[/quote]

I'll start.  Did he even know you were cheating? Did you ever confess it to him? And if he knew is it because you got caught?

Yes- I think you are an idiot and even if your marriage was unfulfilling (and everyone's is at some point over a long marriage- doesn't always stay that way)--you don't lie and betray your spouse.

Next, what you did only creates even more trauma during divorce for your spouse, and then your kids.  If kids do overhear or catch wind of the betrayal on top of the divorce, they fare much worse emotionally and it has lasting repercussions not only how they view you, but also in their own future romantic relationships.

What you did was so stupid and immature and if you carried it out with another married person---you really could completely implode two marriages.  Not a nice or empathetic person to know your actions have the ability to harm others.[/quote]

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