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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah sure.  What a fake post designed to drum up outrage.

As is usually with 100% of these threads, even if true, we never get to hear the other side of the story and only the highly biased viewpoint from a single camp. I always find it to be the case that the complainer massively overrates their contributions to chores while completely downplaying the ones done by their spouse.  [/quote]

OP- there is truth to this, as everyone’s reality is different and you only get to hear one side of the story. I try to take pause to see if there is something I’m not getting, hence posting on here. I would add that if DH just clean up after himself that would be a big improvement already. [/quote]

My wife will tell her girlfriends "He  doesn't help out with chores!".

Yet this is literally a list of everything I do:

All car maintenance
All home repairs and maintenance
All hard maintenance
Take out the trash
Take care of all finances
Only one that cleans the fridge
Only one that actually *cleans* the bathrooms
Only one that regularly cleans the stop top and microwaves and counters
 Vacuum 50% of the time
Cook 50% of the time
 Do the dishes and with the washer 50% of the time.

My wife does laundry, cleans the surface of bathrooms, and cooks 50% of the time. Yet according to her I never do anything.  This is why I rarely believe narratives like this.  The partner complaining never gives equal credit.

Lol, over the summer I did back breaking work repointing our brick home over multiple days and saved us thousands of dollars.  Of course that never gets acknowledged. [/quote]

OP- if my DH did even half of this list I’d be happy. He does house repairs which I have to admit I don’t really acknowledged as much as I think he wants me to mainly because they are a one and done type thing. Also the DIY I want him to do he never gets done (e.g no towel hook for 3 years and counting, yet to install the security system I bought 4 years ago). He doesn’t lift a finger after he comes back from work. I do all the cleaning and family admin either in the night when the kids are sleeping or I’m doing it whilst looking after them. I resent I get no me time at all. I resent that I’m not the best I can be at work nor striving to do better in my career because my home life is too taxing.

Tonight I come down from putting the kids to bed and now have to tackle the night time clean up. He sits there on his phone whilst I clear plates and sweep up around him. He doesn’t even feel any conscience to help out and is waiting till I finish cleaning to get some nookie ?!?! I tell him I’m not in the mood so he leaves sulking.

It seems petty to separate over cleaning and household chores. I’d hate for my kids to go through that. I keep telling myself that I can only change myself.. so ultimately that means I will have to dig deep to find the resolve to change my mindset on this and find better strategies to make things easier for me. I just hope that what’s left of my love for him doesn’t dissipate to nothing :(
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