Reply to Messy husband, won’t clean

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Chore chart. I'm 100% serious, we do it after going to marriage counseling over this. 
We have set nights for who is doing dinner, dishes, bathtime and bedtime. Bathroom cleaning and vacuum on weekends, although maybe you can afford to hire a cleaner.

[b]DIY and yard work are not daily tasks, they are on par with doctor visits and planning childcare/camp. [/b]Which I bet you handle.

But the "I earn more so I get more leisure time" is really gross and I would go to counseling over that mindset. You are a partner not an employee.

[/quote]

This is perhaps the dumbest thing I’ve read on dcum today. If you’re making this argument, I’m not going to take anything else you say serisouly. [/quote]

Hah, found the guy who thinks mowing the lawn once a week in the summer means he doesn't have to do dishes or vacuum. [/quote]

No, you found a working mom who handles 100% of all "emotional labor" like camps, doctors appointments etc and also handles 100% of the DIY stuff around the house, but pays $500 a month for yard service because I know it's a lot of work. A lot more than camp planning. [/quote]

I[b] mean obviously it depends on your yard and the expectations of your family and neighborhood in terms of upkeep[/b]. I personally do not have enough yard to justify either $500/mo OR someone working on it every single weekend for hours. My DH does the mowing and I do the weeding and collectively we probably spend 20 hours on it for the whole year.[/quote]

If you live in a run of the mill suburban house with a small ish yard, you're spending more than 20 hours a year on yardwork. A lot more than 20 hours a year on yardwork.  If you're not spending at least 1-2 hours every week on yardwork (mowing etc) then your yard likely looks like a beat up dump.  WHich is fine - not everyone needs the fancy manicured lawn.

But for exactly the same reason, maybe it's okay to have a few dishes in the sink after dinner and deal with them in the morning.  I mean, these are pretty analogous, no?  It's just people's own preferences, all of which may be reasonable?  [/quote]

You live here and you mow in the winter? C'mon. 
Mowing is 2 hours a week for like 10 weeks a year, plus a few hours raking leaves in the fall, and you can do it on your own schedule. It does not in any way compare to the daily need for food on the table at certain times, dishes done, lunches packed. Or even to regular vacuuming. [/quote]

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