Reply to "Outside of financial constraints: the kid should fully decide w/out parental influence"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a parent - you approve the list. The time to set the criteria, money and any other criteria, is before they apply.[/quote]

I disagree.

I’m  being extreme in my example, but just to get my point across as succinctly as possible…

you add the community college, just in case they don’t get into the safeties, which you added just in case they didn’t get into the targets… if they get into All, and your kid chooses the community college because her boyfriend of a week is staying home too? I think with all of the unknowns answered and the admitted schools in front of us in April, Together, we consider the pros and cons of each decision. And being 50, I may have insight on different pros and cons that my shortsighted 17-year-old may have.[/quote]

THIS^^^

It's a huge investment and big choice in life.  You help guide your kid, but if all things are equal---you let them make the final decision

For example: Kid 1 got into 2 schools, basically same ranking, both jesuit, 6-8K undergrads.  One is in our home state (6 hours drive away), one is 2K miles away.  Both very similar schools, kid will have similar outcomes at both.   One is in a city most don't want to live in.  Other is in a much nicer city (still with issues, but the largest city in the state and really a great place).  Cost is same, kid got 35% tuition merit award at both.  
Parents have their opinions on which is best, but we kept our mouths shut and only provided input when our kid asked.  We let them make the decision.  Why?  Because the only "cost difference" is the getting kid to/from school and we can afford the $2-3K in plane tickets each year (fall break, thanksgiving break, xmas break, spring break, easter break, end of year/getting back to school).  And if my kid were to ever struggle at college (or rather when they would because all freshman have some struggles/times they wonder should I be at this school), I dont' ever want them to be able to Blame Mom or Dad.  I want the choice to be there's and they own that choice.  I got my experience with college 25+ years ago, now it's time for my kid to get to choose (within the boundaries of good school for academic reasons and affordable for us)[/quote]

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