Reply to Do I have a right to be petty and spiteful?

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Reply to "Do I have a right to be petty and spiteful?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you’re being a jerk, but not without justification.  I don’t think you owe her a visit.  You’re not obligated to visit her, but it would be a kindness.  I wouldn’t count on your MIL being struck with remorse for his she treated you.  I think this is more of a question of what kind of person you want to be.  Do you want to model yourself after her bad example, or do you want to be a better person who will show kindness and grace to someone, even if they don’t deserve it.

Something else you might want to consider is your kids’ feelings on the matter.   If they genuinely want yo visit grandma, it might be worth doing it for them.  On the other hand, if they have no interest or if they’re busy and don’t want to set aside their plans, I think you’ve got more leeway and even additional justification for skipping the visits. [/quote]

I agree with this up to the "justification" part.

OP, you know the answer: "I know it’s wrong and I’m doing it on purpose." The person you have to answer to is the one who stares back at you in the mirror. It is also the faces of your children when they ask you someday why YOUR parents' illnesses/time was more valuable than their paternal grandparents.

You may be explaining it away because it's not your parents but all of these people are your children's grandparents. How do you explain it to them? "Well, Grandma Larla is not nice to me and is self-absorbed. So I don't think we need to spend time with her. Ask your dad what he wants to do."

Is that really the lesson you want your kids to learn? You are a leader in their lives, do the right thing. [/quote]

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