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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone have a bisexual husband? If so, how and when did he come out to you? I think my partner may be bi. I want to talk to him about it but don’t want to make him feel embarrassed or defensive.[/quote]

If you’re already married, why did it matter if he’s bi or not? He chose to marry and so the covenant of marriage requires fidelity to you and you only. Otherwise it isn’t marriage. It’s….something else.

Husbands who are heterosexual don’t just cease being attracted to other females just because they got married. But the attraction becomes irrelevant because they are pledging that they will no longer act on this attraction.

[b]There is no need to pick at this scab, OP. You are only inviting heartache[/b].[/quote]

So OP should just shove down her questions, try harder not to see whatever signs she feels she is seeing, and swallow her doubts that he is the person he presented himself as being (and possibly, the person he honestly believed he was) when they got together? Do you really believe that, once she's started seeing indicators and having her own doubts, she can really just lock those away and be truly happy in her ignorance?

I agree that if he's faithful, he's faithful, and infidelity with anyone alters a marriage (or committed relationship) permanently. But I think you, PP, vastly underestimate how it would feel to discover your partner's core sexuality is not what you believed, whether your partner is cheating or not.

We're supposed to know our spouses on the deepest level, and supposed to share our real selves with our spouses. You would advocate for OP to skirt all that and just be happy as long as he's faithful. Of course there are bisexuals in happy, monogamous marriages who are utterly faithful, but I hope they're out to their spouses. Otherwise they are hiding a fundamental truth about themselves from the one person with whom they're supposed to navigate their entire lives.[/quote]

On one hand, yes you really need to just him:

- are you now, or have you ever been, attracted to s*d with men?

Simple question.  Yes or no answer.

For me personally it is an easy NO.   I agree with those who think you should ask, instead of letting the unanswered question live rent-free in your head, eating you up.

On the other hand: [b]drop the false thought out of your head that maybe he’s gay because he wants to do butt stuff with you.  If he wants to do it with you, he’s not gay and there is no suggestion he’s bi to be drawn from it[/b].  Just relax, be open minded, and enjoy a new way to love.  Gwynneth Paltrow wrote several good posts on her blog about her positive experiences.[/quote]

DP. Maybe I missed it earlier in the thread, but where did [u]the OP[/u] say that her partner asking for an*l was what made her wonder if he was bi? I don't think OP said any such thing here. I think you're confusing others' discussion of backdoor sex with OP's initial post which says nothing about what specifically makes her think he's bi. Just clarifying. The downfall of DCUM is it often can be confusing whether a person posting after the initial post is an OP or just a random responder. Yes, if he's wanting an*l that may be giving her pause, and I agree that it's not a reason to suspect a man who asks for it is anything other than straight, but I don't think OP has said that was the case with her.[/quote]

Fair point.

OP - is this part of the reason you suspect he might be bi?  If not, what exactly made you suspect he could be bi? [/quote]

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