Reply to If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?

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Reply to "If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the worst days of my life was when my ex wife offered 1, 2 and 3.  [/quote]

What's wrong with Option 2?  It's unfair to unilaterally impose celibacy on your partner if you've lost interest, but they have not without incurring resentment, and at least with an open marriage, you are honest about it from the start, so there's theoretically no breach of trust, and both partners are free to do the same thing.  In theory, I like Option 2 because it seems to be the fairest solution. [/quote]

I'm not saying options 1 or 2 are "wrong" in a moral sense but I wanted to have sex with my wife, not some other woman who was frustrated with her own husband.  I felt like being offered those options meant that I wasn't loved, which was basically true.  By then my ex wife loved me because I was a good provider and good father of her children.  She didn't love me romantically.  I get sad thinking about it.  We were really great in the early years.[/quote]

So there was a period of time that your relationship wasn’t sexless? Was she in agreement with the divorce?[/quote]

The best sex of my life was with her, before we had kids, but she lost interest. She didn't want a divorce but she has a new partner now and probably has sex with him.  I know he sleeps over because the kids told me.  [/quote]

She will probably pull the same thing with him after a little while.  This likely had nothing to do with you and everything to do with your ex wife.

[/quote]

I'm sure it has SOMETHING to do with me.  Things eventually turned into a death spiral.  She was so cold that I became cold too after a while.

On the other hands she told me she had zero interest in sex with anyone or alone.  So you may be partially right.

Now that I've started dating other divorced women, i know that sexual interest can ebb and flow to a degree that makes little sense to me as a man.  One woman who had six orgasms with me in one night said she went three years without having a single orgasm.  Another woman said she went five years.  Another woman said she went one year.  No men. 
No orgasms. My own sexual interest varies too, but not like that.  (I've also met women who do what it takes to get their needs net no matter what, and if that involves a few very short term situations with some guys in their twenties or thirties, or some other guys who have nothing in common with them, that's a price they pay without regret.)[/quote]

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