Reply to need ideas to manage next two years

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "need ideas to manage next two years"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m very sorry about your husband. And about your son’s worries and his own sadness.

I’ve parented two 14yo boys, and I know it’s a tough age. They want to be grown up, and ten seconds later they are watching cartoons. The swings of mood/emotion/direction/energy are unreal.

Can you sit down over hot chocolate, or go out to breakfast somewhere, and say you need his help? Your family team is smaller, and at the same time you’re trying to make sense of all the feelings that come with that, there are all sorts of new practical aspects. How can you two better work together to make life kinder and easier for each other?

Bring up some of the sticking points and brainstorm solutions. Explain outright that you hired the au pair to help make his life easier — he may think of her as an unwanted, bossy older sister instead of a guaranteed ride to Jacob’s house. Talk about how your new life requires a lot more pre-planning, and agree to put things on a shared Google calendar. Make sure he has a bike/bus pass so he can get to the store to buy snacks for friends coming over — or make that part of their afternoon. (My boys loved wandering through Giant with their friends and triumphantly coming home with day-old pastries because THEY WERE ON SALE, MOM!!!) Giving him more ownership and control of the solution may help him feel less at sea.

On days when you have to drive to therapy, practice, etc., is there a way you can use that chunk of time for your own errands? Scout out grocery stores near ball fields and use the hour of warmups to get your shopping done (get nonperishables or bring a cooler). Sit in the car and return calls, sign up for activities, schedule household services, etc.

I wish your son was on my kid’s team. We’d have a regular (and nonreciprocal) carpool organized for you so fast it would make your head spin. [/quote]

This is perfect. OP, I am very sorry for your loss. This response is compassionate AND involves your son in the process of moving forward. Hang in there! [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics