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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, how old are you? I can think of plenty of couples (well-educated and successful) where sh*t hit the proverbial fan when one of the spouses was in their early or mid 40s (severe mental health symptoms, affairs, other situations that were insane deal breakers (e.g. crazy legal stuff)).

These were all people who could be your neighbors. You’re probably fine but sometimes things can be completely stable forever, and then just implode. 10 years ago, I would’ve said it was very rare. Now, I can think of several people to whom this happened. Still probably rare, but not nonexistent.

Also, people keep things quiet to the outside/to most people. But there can be a lot of darkness instead of marriage that most people don’t know about.[/quote]

Yep. And when we go out people still say “I can’t see you guys ever fighting. You are so great together…blah blah”.

I get an old girlfriend who is not in a good marriage tell us how envious she is of our relationship. I was blunt. We have fun when we are out and are similar yes—but told her what really it’s like.  Certainly not all roses. He cheated.  Dealbreaker. He went through an awful midlife crisis. I just will never feel the same way about him or our marriage.[/quote]

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