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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the OP! I want to really thank everyone for their replies. Deep down, I am fairly sure this is nothing because I had a CT scan and an ultrasound not long ago and because the blood is cyclical (and judging from threads here, fairly common. Which I did not know.) My dr. is not concerned.

It is what the bleeding represents. I cannot stop checking myself. Like, I go to the bathroom and cringe and pray. I keep looking "down there." I am in a major OCD spiral and I cannot go on like this (I am also working all weekend preparing for a trial, barely functioning all while wondering if I will bleed).

I do not know what drug to ask for or if it's a drug that can help. I am on my maximun dosage for SSRI. Does anyone know of any health anxiety support specifically, or a center that deals with this?[/quote]

OP, my traumatic health history included a rash of unknown origin (that was at the time being investigated as part of a possible lupus diagnosis. I already had an autoimmune disease that was severely life-disruptive and this period of uncertainty about drove me nuts. I was in the headspace you describe).

Like you, I had very good providers who were not doubting the seriousness and sincerely working to diagnose the problem. But meanwhile the rash was coming and going (sometimes over 1-2 days! insanely frustrating) and it was very provoking every time.

I started seeing a CBT therapist who said: lean in. The rash looked most like something that could be created with blush. I spent a few weeks intentionally painting this rash on myself. I know it sounds completely bizarre, but it helped A LOT.

This is what leads to my advice: get some liquid rouge or red paint or whatever you need to use to intentionally paint spotting into your underwear. (Use crappy underwear obviously.) Wipe with washcloths dark enough that you get no information from that one way or the other. Over time, your brain will get the message: there is no need to “check,” the spotting is definitely there.

It’s been 23 years. The rash was a very rare drug reaction. I don’t have lupus. And you will be OK too.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes?[/quote]

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