Reply to How long did you grieve your parent?

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[quote=Anonymous]My father died suddenly and in a tragic way 2 years ago that left me with severe trauma. Despite my supporting my DH for 3+ years while my MIL was dying of a terminal illness (raising the kids while he left for weeks at a time to travel to MIL to take care of her, helped clean up her apartment quickly per the orders of my SIL once she died in hospice, found my DH a grief counselor bc he was devastated even though he knew her death was imminent, etc), my DH did not provide much support, grace or space for me to grieve when my father passed 5 years after my MIL's passing. I am still very angry about it, and I am not sure I can forgive him. We have talked about separating because he admits he should have done better, he just wants me to move on (even though he was given all the opportunity to grieve on his own schedule).

I am crying right now as I type this. My father's birthday was 3 days ago. I miss him terribly. He actually passed the first week of a new job and my boss was so understanding and supportive of my needing to take immediate time off for which I am so grateful (and signaled to me this would be a great place to work and it has been).  So it hasn't affected my job in the long term.

One last thing: I started to notice that when people found out my father had suddenly died, very, very few people asked me how I was doing, the overwhelming number immediately asked how my mother was doing. It was surprising to me the few people that did check in on me, and how I was doing, and it really meant a lot to me the people that did.[/quote]

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