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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "How to broach asking for a family members eggs"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she hasnt specifically mentioned that she plans to donate the eggs she had frozen, then it’s very presumptuous of you to assume they are available for the asking. Imagine if this were vehicles instead of eggs. If your sister has four cars and she drives two but kept two in the garage, you wouldn’t ask her if you could have one or buy one, would you??? No, of course not. Now—if she said “I’m about to go sell one of my cars that’s been in the garage” and you wanted to be considered as a potential buyer, then it makes sense to speak up. Common sense. And that’s just cars. With eggs, it’s a lot more emotional and they are genetically connected. This is a bad idea, OP. If you really feel the need to ask, at least ask as a hypothetical like “have you ever considered egg donation?” Or “someone asked the other day if I had ever asked you about being a donor and I told them we’d never talked about it. Do you think it’s weird crust we haven’t talked about that before?” Then if she doesn’t take the cue to ask more questions or offer, you will know she doesn’t want any part of this. Let her take the graceful exit without feeling like you’ve cornered her.[/quote] Huh??? I would totally ask about buying a car. I would also ask about eggs. I'm reminded of a friend who needed money for freezing her eggs- when she finally asked her brother - he said yes and was more than happy to support her in this. I realize that it is just money in that case not eggs but still - if you don't ask you will never know. I would consider going to one of those fertility therapists rather than listening to random people on DCUM (I had to see one before I could proceed with IVF with donor sperm) to discuss this and ways to ask. Any donation will likely require you and your sister to see one anyways and it might be a good way to discuss issues involved in this, and best ways to proceed. [/quote]
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