Reply to I feel like I’m losing my daughter

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "I feel like I’m losing my daughter "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your daughter sucks. Sorry, but that’s the truth. Some people don’t know how to be loved and treat the ones nicest to them the worst. (An offshoot of this type is women who love jerks.) Since you are her mother and love her, my advice is to back off. The more distant you’ll be, the more she’ll respect you. Maybe she’ll learn, maybe she won’t. Find hobbies and be good to yourself!!![/quote]

Sorry this the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. Late teens daughters pull away from their moms. She’s experimenting establishing her own identity. It’s a normal developmental stage. Mom is mom at that stage, and the step is the fun friend.

When the separation is completed, she will come back with an added bonus she your friend, you will always be her mom. The separation allows the way you view and relate to her to evolve as well.

Motherhood is hard. You pour your heart and the best of you into this tiny helpless little human being and the joy is immense, but then if you’re doing it right, and if you are lucky they start pull a little bit at a time, it happens slowly so you don’t always notice at first, but with those first steps they take, the countdown begins.

I have a tween son, and sometimes I look at him and just want to cry where did my sweet little boy go, time just slow down, and then he does something so intentionally jerky that I say the day can’t come fast enough… lol it’s natures way of priming us both to get ready for the eventual separation.

There is a big exciting world out there, and it’s all in front of them, theirs for the taking. 
 
And mom the good news is, you can accept the change and look at the bright side you can start working on your second act.

That’s life, if it wasn’t the step mom it’d be something or someone else, in the big exciting world to that is hers to explore, the step mom is a different road maybe but it’s the same path. The arc of life.

But don’t worry I like to say daughters always find their way back home to mom. My son on the other hand I’m sure will leave me for some floozy and never look back 😂

[/quote]

I disagree. I never pulled away from my mom, not even a little. This is even though I went several states away for college. I called her every single day, usually a couple of times a day because I wanted to share everything with her.

More importantly, not all daughters who pull away come back. I have friends who have no relationship with their mothers. What I’ve found in all of those cases is a lack of respect for their moms. In OP’s case, I fear her daughter might not respect her for, in her eyes, “losing” the dad/husband to another woman. It sounds like he’s wealthy, or at least, wealthier than OP. This especially, makes daughter look down on OP for not making it work with him. She forgives Dad, obviously, because he’s richer and remarried (to a third woman) and takes her on trips to St. Maarten.

For OP to gain daughter’s respect, she needs to take a step back. She needs to respect herself and not grovel before a badly acting person, even if that person is her child. She also needs to accept that her daughter might be the same sort of person as her father, one who is disloyal. Maybe daughter is just going through a phase, but she might not be. This might just be who she is.

(Also, on an unrelated side note, it’s pretty sad that you’ve already decided, even if jokingly, that your tween son will leave you “for some floozy and never look back.” He will probably leave you because of your inherently sexist attitude towards him. He deserves to be loved and treated with the same expectations as you would have on a daughter.)
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics