Reply to Suddenly seems like not enough HHI despite great relationship

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP, it's really very simple. You do not actually have the "great relationship" you think you have, if you put income before the person. You'll deny this, say he's wonderful, and quite probably he is. But you don't understand that mature love will say, "This is the person with whom I would gladly weather whatever life hands us, as a couple, and if we hit rough patches, our priority is the relationship and working things out openly." You're clearly willing to bail on the "great relationship" due to HHI concerns, so, no, you don't love him that way and it's doubtful you'll love anyone that way unless you change your thinking.

I suspect instead you will be back here in a few years, no matter what man you marry, posting about the all too familiar DCUM tropes when people enter marriage with attitudes as blithely materialistic as yours. And you don't even recognize the materialism, or your privilege.

Take your pick and file it away. It'll make those future posts go faster for you:

"We don't have enough HHI and I'm resenting him for it, I wanted a different lifestyle"
"We've grown apart/he's having an affair/I'm having an affair because we never see each other because he's such a workaholic/he travels all the time for work"
"I stayed home with the kids and resent that he gets out of the house/he's not doing enough chores/we don't 'date' any more...."
"I had to go back to work because I want more HHI but I resent going back to work"
And later: "I'm so angry that DH does not make enough money for us to send Kid to Expensive Prestigious College X"

OP, you think that "maturity" is sitting down and having a sudden revelation that groceries are $60 a bag. Nope, maturity is loving someone and sharing the same values about how you spend money, and then working out what to do without, what to save, and what to spend on things that actually matter.[/quote]

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