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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are now DINKS, wanted to have children but couldn't naturally, so stopped trying medical intervention when it all became too much.

In our 50s now and a number of friends from high school and college are in the same boat. A few have adopted, but like us, most have not.

Not everyone is rabidly "child free" and for most of us it's just how things turned out, even when we wanted otherwise. No one wants to hear that, because it's and downer which means that they too might not get a "rainbow baby."[/quote]

Agree with this. Most of the people I know without kids are single or divorced. I do know a number of married couples without kids, and for three I can think of, it was an affirmative choice (which they shared with me). But I also know a bunch of people who got married in their late 30s or early 40s and either experienced infertility or decided that they were past the age when they wanted to have kids. This is different than not wanting kids at all -- I think many of them might have had kids if they'd found their partners earlier. But with careers and moves and challenges with dating, sometimes you don't.

I married at 34 (spouse was 36) and we had a baby when I was 37 (spouse was 39). We've talked about how if our timeline had been pushed back even one year, we probably wouldn't have had a kid. We are really glad we did, but it's [b]interesting how small shifts in timing can make a difference. [/b]Now that people are marrying later, I think this is a factor. When most people got married in their 20s, I think the assumption was that most people would have kids and if they didn't it was considered weird. Now that more people get married in their 30s or even 40s, you just can't assume that kids are even a feasible option for every married couple.[/quote]

I think this is a really good point.   The pandemic upended our lives right when we were going to try for a second kid.  Most of our friends are one and done.[/quote]

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