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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would just stop making muffins and soup for you all.

And the next time you might ask me to watch my grandchild on a day when day care is closed, I might not see the text for hours and hours, or I might say, oh that’s not a good day, how about tomorrow?

I’ll just learn not to care about your hurt feelings. If you throw tantrums and complain about me to everyone, that will be YOUR problem.

Because it’s all about setting boundaries, right?
[/quote]

If I ask my parents to help out with my kids they DO say “sorry, we’re busy” if they have plans. Because they are adults with their own lives and I would be horrified if they dropped everything on short notice to bail me out unless it was a serious emergency like my spouse in the hospital. But they do help out when they can and don’t keep score to guilt me about it. Just like I look ahead on the calendar and plan times to see them so they don’t have to make up excuses to stop by.

People who react like you think the muffins are innocent, but it’s the intention behind them. The MIL expects everyone to drop their plans and pay attention to her. Then she pouts when she doesn’t get what she wants. No one asked you to make the muffins Phyllis!

If you were thoughtful you’d text “I’m planning to make muffins tomorrow. I can double the recipe and drop some off. If you’ll be around tomorrow evening, let me know what time works for you.”  Then if they said no thank you, a mature adult would not pout about stale muffins. They would say “Maybe next time. I’d love to see the kids this weekend. I’ll send some times that work to (kids father/MIL’s son)” [/quote]

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