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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP sounds like a martyr.

You didn't 'need' to step off your job track so your DH could focus on his. You wanted to; you and he may have decided together it would make your overall lives easier. [b]You benefited from you staying home[/b], because you just didn't have to work as much, be as busy, and hustle as much as if you had stayed working.  Men and women work full time all the time with kids. Staying home and working PT is an unnecessary luxury.

Second, your DH can handle 50% schedule. You are not the only person on planet earth who can meet your teenage children's needs. Given your 20 year marriage, why would any of your children need a nanny?? Even if they did, why is this a reason for your DH to not get 50/50? Nannies and childcare are fine; tons of people augment raising their kids with outsourcing.

Move past thinking of yourself as the martyr, the only good parent, the one who deserves money and children.

Accept 50/50 and save yourself $100k. And move on. [/quote]
You act like the partner who is working doesn't benefit from having a SAHP. Which is completely insane. I would have loved to be the bread winner but my earning potential was not very high. I would much rather work 10 hours a day, come home to a clean house, cooked meal, rarely do laundry and just get to enjoy my kids like my partner does. I would love to not bear the brunt of 99% of our SN kid's issues. I would love to be able to accept invitations for happy hours or dinners without thinking about it because my partner is our rock, keeping the family together. You all act like working FT with a SAH spouse is soooo hard. No, it's a wonderful luxury to be able to focus on your career too. We both chose a lower-stress life where we each sacrifice and we each benefit. If you don't see it as a team, you shouldn't be married and you absolutely shouldn't have kids. [/quote]

I didn't say the working partner didn't also benefit from having an easier life. They both benefit from having an easier life.  But women who lean out of work need to stop saying that the only reason they did that was to support their spouse's career.  That's just not true. You did it so that you and your spouse could have less stress.  SAHMs need to stop acting like they don't benefit from staying home.  If they didn't benefit, women would never choose to stay home and put themselves in a financially precarious position.  [/quote]

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