Reply to How much does a contested divorce actually cost?

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Reply to "How much does a contested divorce actually cost?"

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[quote=Anonymous]How old are your kids, especially the youngest? I'm guessing that if you've been married twenty years, the youngest is at least in high school and child support won't last for long.

There's really no reason to hire a lawyer and waste money that could go to you and the kids on that. Just offer 50/50 split of marital assets and child custody, assuming at least one of your kids is still under the age of 18.

Things you'll need to spell out in addition to the above: College expenses for kids, who carries them on health insurance, who claims them for taxes, whether you can afford a house that is big enough for all that are still at home, extraordinary expenses like special camps and travel sport teams, and so on.

Once you file for divorce, he can't actually stop you from going through with it. So, you don't need a lawyer to make him comply. In DC, you can use the mediators they have on staff and they are incredibly competent and helpful. This is what I did in my divorce even though we could have afforded to pay lawyers. (I'm a lawyer myself.) I just got a feel for what is the standard settlement and worked from there. You need to put some thought into things like how you want to handle holidays and schedules for when the kids are with you or him. Make sure to give yourself a full two weeks in the summers for times you want to vacation with them. My sister failed to do this and her ex would constantly block her ability to travel by asserting his every other weekend rights. Also, be careful about dividing vehicles. If you owe a balance on a vehicle, make arrangements for it to be paid off before it is allocated to you, unless you're fine with making the payments yourself.

My current partner got screwed by the Maryland courts in his divorce. They awarded the ex wife who had been a SAHM with their two kids half of all of his assets, not just what he'd earned during the marriage. Be careful to avoid that by drawing up clear financial documents for the court to review.

Child support is based on a formula in DC, but it tops out at about $150K or so, which doesn't provide much guidance to middle class families. MD might be the same. I don't know how it works when one spouse how no income history though.

You'd be wise to consider getting yourself a job before filing anything. You'll have to do this anyhow, but it will be harder when you're on your own. Use family assets to pay for any credentials or training you might need ASAP.
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