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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's easy to be an armchair quarterback. The fact is that without a DPOA, and no cooperation, there isn't much you can do legally until she degrades enough for a guardianship case.

The things you can do that no one has talked about yet:

1) put an airtag in her car. 
2) if there is any possibility of your mom wearing (and charging every night) a modern iwatch, then get her one with cell service, set up the fall notifications, and set up location tracking. 
3) Who is the executor of your dad's will? Do you have access to your dad's email? There's a grey area between adding your name to accounts (very difficult), versus making sure that you have passwords for the online access for accounts in order to monitor recurring bill payments. 
4) When my parents were in the beginning/moderate stages of dementia, I set up blink cameras very discreetly around the house. This wasn't so I could spy on them 24x7, but helped me know if they were in the kitchen or the basement or upstairs, see if the car was in the driveway, etc. 
5) You might be able to set up USPS Informed Delivery, which would give you daily email insight into what mail is arriving.

My parents oscillated along that way for about two years, until my dad had a sudden break and  accused the neighbors of stealing from the house. Adult protective services took them to the hospital for evaluation, and they were kept in the hospital until a memory care bed opened up.

In some states you can make an anonymous complaint about someones competence for driving, but honestly right now it sounds like she'd probably pass a re-test.

Unfortunately, while there are some drugs that can delay some symptoms of dementia, they frequently can cause additional anger and suspicion. For someone who is already angry and lashing out there aren't any good dementia medications, so there isn't much for a doctor to do at this point. While she might benefit from anti-anxiety meds, it doesn't sound like she'd be open to them.

I'm sorry OP. It really sucks. And I'm very sorry for the loss of your dad. It's been a hard year for losing dads.[/quote]
Thank you very much for your condolences and detailed advice. I will see what I can do. She refuses to have a cell phone or any sort of device, but maybe I can come up with something. Also, sadly, dad did not have a will. They did absolutely nothing.[/quote]

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